By Tanisha L. Knighton, Ph.D. | COHR Psychologist & Associates

When most people hear the word trauma, they think of one-time catastrophic events (i.e., assault, war, sexual violence, serious accidents, or natural disasters). And yes, those experiences absolutely can be traumatic. But that definition? It’s incomplete.

Because trauma isn’t just about what happened.
It’s about what stays in your body, in your nervous system, in the way you move through the world. It’s the survival adaptations your brain and body created to keep you safe, even after the danger has passed. Trauma isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s quiet survival.

So… What Does Trauma Really Look Like?

It might look like the teen who never cries but gets stomachaches every day before school. It might look like the first responder who jokes about horrific scenes but wakes up drenched in sweat. It might look like the high-functioning adult who has it all together but dissociates when rest, intimacy, or stillness enters the room.

Trauma can show up as… hypervigilance. Emotional numbness. Avoidance. Irritability. Fatigue. Physical pain with no medical explanation. It often hides in plain sight especially in Black and Brown communities, where survival is often mislabeled as strength.

For many of us, trauma looks like:

• Over-functioning to feel safe… because you were never allow yourself to ask for help
• Not trusting anyone… because trust has been weaponized
• Not crying… because vulnerability was framed as weakness
• Feeling exhausted by simply existing in systems that weren’t built for you

Survival ≠ Healing

Here’s one of the hardest truths I’ve learned (both with clients and in personal reflection): We’ve been taught to call survival a strength… even when it’s costing us our peace.

In many BIPOC families and communities, “being strong” has meant pushing through, staying quiet, and not breaking down. Not asking for help. Not naming the trauma because doing so could disrupt the fragile balance that held the family, the church, or the job together.

But strength isn’t about pretending you’re fine. Real strength is the courage to feel. The courage to face it.  At COHR, we honor your survival for what it is: a brilliant, necessary adaptation to unsafe environments. And we also believe you deserve more than just surviving. You deserve the space to heal.

You Don’t Have to “Qualify” for Trauma

One thing I’ve hear from clients is: “I don’t have any past trauma… but something feels off.”  Let me be clear: you don’t need a diagnosis or a dramatic story for your pain to be real. Your nervous system doesn’t measure suffering by headlines. It remembers neglect, shame, microaggressions, confusion, fear, and silence.

If your body has been stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or submit mode…
If you’ve had to stay small or invisible to feel safe…
If you’ve never had space to feel because survival came first…

That’s trauma, too. And it’s valid.

Real Healing Requires Real Safety

At COHR Psychologist & Associates, we believe that healing happens in relationship…with self, with others, and within community. That means:

• A space where you don’t have to explain your identity before you can begin
• A therapist who respects your story and your silence
• A process that moves at your pace and centers your safety and power

Therapy with us isn’t about fixing you. It’s about walking with you through the truth, through the pain, and into something freer.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re Just Ready to Heal.

Trauma is complex. It’s personal. And it’s always tied to context, especially cultural context. If no one ever named your experience as trauma, that doesn’t make it any less real.

You’re allowed to question the masks you’ve worn.
You’re allowed to set down the armor.
You’re allowed to heal on your own terms.

Ready to talk to someone who gets it?
Click the link in our bio or call (330) 578-4855 to schedule a consultation.
Let’s begin your healing journey together.

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