By Tanisha L. Knighton, Ph.D. | COHR Psychologist & Associates

Therapy can be life-changing, but it isn’t magic. As a licensed psychologist who’s worked with hundreds of clients over the years, I’ve seen incredible breakthroughs. I’ve witnessed people heal trauma, shift deeply embedded patterns, learn to trust themselves, and transform relationships.  But I’ve also seen people stall out. Get stuck. Or walk away feeling like therapy “didn’t work.”  So today, we’re going to talk about it. Not from a place of judgment but from a place of realness.  Because here’s the truth: therapy is a process, not a passive experience. And if you feel like it’s not helping, it might be time to look at how you’re showing up in the process.

Let’s Keep It Real: Common Reasons Therapy Feels Stagnant

Here are some patterns that can quietly sabotage your progress in therapy (and yes, most of us have been guilty of one or more of these at some point):

• Inconsistency. Progress requires presence. Skipping sessions or constantly rescheduling breaks momentum and makes it hard to build trust with your therapist or yourself.
• Being emotionally closed off. You don’t have to share everything in the first session but if you’re holding back completely or staying surface-level, the work can’t go as deep as it needs to.
• Not being honest with yourself or your therapist. If you’re avoiding the real issues, minimizing your behavior, or just saying what you think we want to hear… we can’t help you with what you’re not willing to name.
• Not using the strategies discussed. Insight is only the beginning. Growth comes from application. If you’re nodding in session but not trying the tools outside of it, the change stays theoretical.
• Blaming others but not taking accountability. Yes, people may have hurt you. But healing still requires owning your role, your patterns, and your power to choose differently.
• Therapist hopping. Sometimes a mismatch is real, and leaving is the right choice. But jumping from one provider to the next without addressing the discomfort that comes with staying in the work… that can be avoidance in disguise.

Therapy Is Work…But It’s Worth It

No therapist expects you to be perfect. We don’t expect you to trust us immediately. But we do need you to engage. That’s where the power lives in the relationship, in the vulnerability, in the repeated decision to show up, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable.

If you’re feeling stuck in therapy, here’s what I invite you to reflect on:

• Am I being honest in this space?
• Am I actually showing up or just going through the motions?
• Have I given myself enough time to feel safe?
• What am I avoiding or resisting?

Your therapist isn’t there to “fix” you. We’re there to walk with you, reflect back what we see, and help you access the tools you need. But you have to do the part we can’t do for you: the showing up, the opening up, the trying again.

Final Thoughts: Therapy Works When You Work It

Therapy isn’t just a conversation. It’s a commitment. A relationship. A mirror. A practice. And if you’ve been frustrated with your progress, don’t give up. Take a breath. Take an honest look at how you’ve been showing up. And then decide what you want to do differently.  We’re here when you’re ready, not for perfection, but for participation.

If you’re ready to go deeper, not just talk, but truly shift, we’re ready to walk with you.
Click the link in our bio or call (330) 578-4855 to schedule a consultation.

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