By Tanisha L. Knighton, Ph.D. | COHR Psychologist & Associates

Some people show up to therapy unsure whether their pain “counts.”  They say things like, “I know other people have it worse,” or “Nothing really big happened, but….”

Let’s clear this up: You are not overreacting.  What you’re feeling may not come from one dramatic event but that doesn’t mean it’s not real, valid, or worthy of support.

In clinical practice, we often talk about microtraumas…those smaller, chronic stressors that don’t always register as trauma in the traditional sense, but still leave an imprint. These are the subtle, cumulative emotional injuries that build over time. And when they go unacknowledged, they can lead to exhaustion, self-doubt, or what we often see as “high-functioning depression.”

What Counts as a Microtrauma?

Microtraumas can look like:

• Being repeatedly dismissed, ignored, or misunderstood
• Navigating everyday racism, sexism, or homophobia
• Growing up in emotionally unpredictable households
• Constantly performing to be “enough” in systems not designed for your thriving
• Being praised for your resilience while no one checked on your pain

And here’s the catch: many people learn early on that the best way to cope is to achieve their way out of it. Education becomes safety. Work becomes validation. Success becomes your shield. You’ve earned multiple degrees, you’re the reliable one, the helper, the high performer.  But inside? You may still feel tired, unseen, or chronically on edge.  Just because your trauma came in small doses doesn’t mean the impact was small.

The Myth of the “Strong One”

Many of us (especially Black and Brown folks) were raised to equate strength with silence. To “succeed” our way through pain. We learned that emotional vulnerability could be dangerous, or at least unproductive. So, we buried it under accomplishments, professionalism, caregiving, or spiritual bypassing.

But the nervous system keeps score. Over time, those micro-level stressors, when ignored or minimized, can accumulate into emotional burnout, relationship struggles, or physical symptoms. What looks like being “fine” on the outside might actually be years of chronic activation on the inside.

High-Functioning Doesn’t Mean Unaffected

High-functioning depression is real. It doesn’t always look like crying or staying in bed. Sometimes it looks like:

• Over-scheduling yourself so you don’t have to feel
• Achieving to avoid disappointing others
• Smiling in public and collapsing in private
• Being “the strong one” while silently struggling

If this resonates, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not too “successful” to be struggling.

What Healing Can Look Like

At COHR, we understand that trauma isn’t always dramatic or obvious. Sometimes it shows up in the pauses, the patterns, or the persistent pressure to “keep it together.” Therapy is a space where you don’t have to justify your pain, explain your excellence, or code-switch to be cared for.

We create space for people navigating cumulative trauma, cultural expectations, and high-functioning distress. We name what’s often overlooked. And we affirm that healing doesn’t mean unraveling, it means giving yourself permission to stop carrying what was never yours to hold in the first place.

Final Thoughts

You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting.  You’re having a human response to repeated emotional injury, and you deserve care that sees the full story.

Ready to stop surviving and start processing?
Click the link in our bio or call (330) 578-4855 to schedule a consultation. We’re here to walk with you.

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